When I grow up will I be pretty?

As mentioned in my post last night, I was talking to a friend (we'll call her G) from college who lives in Colorado. When I moved out there, I let her pick my apartment. It occurs to me just now that that was a huge thing for me to let go of. V. interesting....

The joke around my house was that us girls in our younger years replied to the question "What are you going to be when you grow up?" with "I'm going to college". G knew she was going to get a PhD in elementary school. Now we both have two degrees in chemistry and are doing other things.

I spent several hours this morning at my grad alma mater, trying to figure out if there is a place for me in this science-slow town. It reaffirmed the idea that, even if there was a place, I wasn't all that interested. G recently brought her one year old son and seven month pregnant self to her advisor's office for the same reason: To feel like she had a place.

How do you fix a world where two brilliant women don't feel they are contributing? Every job I interviewed for after grad school would probably have laid me off by now. It all makes me rage with anger until I remember the peace that comes from not listening to those who would take you down.