I want to be a hunter again

Today we find our heroine risking the dangers of the wild know as the mall on Saturday in search of the mythological being, the clearance shoe. This elusive being was sighted just days ago by a fellow craver of good deals. To find a shoe that is perfect in size, shape, color, and price is the heroine's ultimate goal, but so often not to be found. Full are her closets of shoes that pinch, that clash, that belong to other decades, that look more like weapons of acute destruction.

Our heroine stalks the displays of shoes, smooth like a tiger, quiet as a cougar. She is nearly felled by a pair of beautiful, heeled winter dress boots that are just-in, shiny and, of course, full price. But she slinks on, dodging other ferocious clearance stalkers and more than a few dazed, drowsy shoppers caught in the shopping euphoria.

Though she makes several circles around the clearance aisles, the shoes are not to be seen. Not today.

She slinks home empty-handed to do battle with the evil shoe-predator Nuschler yet another day.

Thus is the life of our heroine.