If you complain once more you'll meet an army of me

I'm sure it is like this for anyone who stops something. If you quit drinking, the whole world seems to be having a cocktail. If you stop smoking, the whole world is lighting up. If you just got dumped, the whole world is in love. If you just got fired, the whole world is getting promoted.

For me, the whole world is pregnant.

If I didn't know any better, I would think that baby bumps were available for purchase everywhere. Because I see them everywhere. Before the incident, I was semi-patiently waiting for our turn. Now I'm like a raging, sober alcoholic.

I'm avoiding talking to some of my married friends for fear that they are adding to the list of bumps. I'm warning other married friends that there is something in the water, that bumps are contagious.

Yes, I am seeking professional help. And, in the meantime, I am counting my blessings. Starting with a cocktail...