On the wrong side

I do not have another word of small talk in me.

I spent Friday night hanging out with one of my college friends. This fabulous woman has traveled the world, recently graduated with her masters in something she is still interested in and will soon be moving from the cities to DC. She sees me with the house-husband-puppy trifacta and feels personally unsatisfied while I see her travel/freedom and feel professionally unsatisfied. We pinky-swore to start seeing ourselves as whole people.

Saturday she ran off to a wedding. Punky and I went to a different wedding, then hit a grad party and then another small gathering. Today I went to the art fair after church with some friends to absorb the creativity and get new ideas. But my small talk skills are pathetic at this point. I need a badge that says "useless in conversation". In less than an hour I will be in a room packed full of marathon volunteers.

When I am around too many people for too long I actually can't listen anymore. I ask people to repeat themselves and force myself to concentrate on the answer and then repeat it in my head. I know of a few people who seldom tire of small talk like this. Or they are better at faking it.

I just need a room to lock myself in.