Now it's over, I'm dead, and I haven't done anything that I want...

... or I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do.

I have been wanting to use this lyric for a long time, but thought it a little callus considering recent happenings. But we visited the cemetery today, so it seems as appropriate as I am going to get.

By some stroke of luck, all of my grandparents are buried next to each other. The Morris next to the M's. My grandfathers, who both died when I was very young, I know mostly through the good and bad things they passed on to their children. My grandmothers, who both met Punky but didn't get to be at our wedding and will never hold my children, I miss so much sometimes I forget to breathe thinking about them. I recently had the urge to run away and, had Gma Sly been alive, I would have fled to Baudette for a few days. Would have been lovely.

Anyway, at the cemetery, we walked to Punky's grandparents' grave, which is about a city block from my grandparents'. Really, how lucky/strange/creepy is that? Their grave is close to someone mom used to know. So there we were, heads down, looking through grave markers for people we knew.

Lord, help my children, cuz they're gonna be weird.