Live your life with arms wide open

After spending yesterday completely sloth-like on the couch (my datebook wasn't even near me), I am starting to feel better. I'm still a snot factory, but my energy is better.

I have been asked why I would share my chicken-sneeze story if it was so humiliating. To be honest, I have to get comfortable with failure, humility and grief or I will never really succeed. I am a rotten loser, especially since I always forget that I am my only competition. This needs to stop.

I also need to let go of a lot of pain.

The greatest part of any sad/painful situation is that there are always one or two beautiful things that come after that you notice only because of your grief. I was with my friend as her father died at the beginning of the year. A few days later I was walking the dog and heard O Holy Night (perhaps my favorite hymn) in bells from the neighborhood church. Fall on your knees. I am convinced that I might have missed it had I not been pensive from recent events.

Today, a few lovely things happened. Michelle gave me permission to take care of myself and Diane passed along a lovely, unexpected comment from someone who has known me most of my life. I could not have asked for greater blessings.

On a lighter note, I had a dream the other night about my brother (Matt, I am so sorry). He had spent $5000 on an outfit that consisted of a black sweater, a plaid pleated skirt, fish-net stockings and shoes (costing $2350) designed by Eminem made to fit Big Bird. It wasn't a drag thing, more like a hip-hop (flop) trend. I have an idea of what this means. Any suggestions?