The end of the world as we know it

I didn't understand this REM song until I heard it the day I graduated from high school. It is always the end of the world as we know it. Things are in constant change. This is very true right now, but I feel nowhere near fine.

The unspeakable happened last night. My husband's stepmother died. She was only 38.

The moment Aaron introduced me to his dad and Pam, I became part of their family. Which of course meant I got teased just like everyone else. Their house was always comfortable and friendly.

Pam loved golden retrievers and so, when we first got Nuschler, she was thrilled. I would call her up in a panic over some small, puppy thing, and she would tell me what to do and when to chill.

Aaron and I got to go on one trip with her and Dale. We went to the cities for a hockey tournament. At one point, the boys caught a game while the girls went shopping. Pam introduced me to the cheese store at the Mall of America. We were hoping to make it a yearly event, but couldn't make it happen.

I guess I never really thought of us as very close until I fell this gigantic hole she left behind. I go numb just thinking about how excited she was about us someday having kids.

Carpe diem, my friends. And thank you...